Skyping With the Kiddos!

Today marks the nineteenth day that I've been back in PA, away from my dear students and friends who obviously remain in Puerto Rico. It's strange how in many ways it seems as if I've been away forever. Many people continue to ask me if I'm happy to be back...I really haven't decided yet and I honestly do not know how to respond to this question. Thus, I simply reply, "I really don't know." Part of me, or rather, most all of me, yearns to be in Puerto Rico sitting in Betsy's classroom tutoring the kids in writing, or hanging in the library interpreting a story, or helping Francis study for her spelling test. There is simply no feeling or moment like it. And I miss those dear, silly kids more than anything! My heart has undoubtedly stayed on the island.
     However, I am aware that for this season, the Lord wants me back here. Thus, I am glad to be in the center of His will where He wants me--I know I'd be miserable if I were not in His will. So I have many mixed emotions on the matter; longing to be at ESD in Puerto Rico, yet contenting myself with being in His will and doing all He asks of me.
     I have continued to interpret church services for the Deaf man who is still attending every Sunday, thus I am learning and am able to practice my Signing. He says he can already see me improving--which is a great encouragement to know. Last Sunday, I interpreted the entire church service and all of the two-way conversations afterwards. I can certainly feel myself becoming more confident...both in my ability to relay information and receive that which is being signed to me. That evening, everyone returned to church for a special question-and-answer meeting, for which I interpreted as well. Then everyone stayed to chat for a while thereafter. All in all, I signed and interpreted for more than four hours straight. I am absolutely loving it! I pray that all I'm doing here will help me to improve so that when I return to Puerto Rico, I can be of a better assistance to Betsy.
     I have also, already received several sweet letters from my roomie (to which I have already responded.) I will honestly say that when I opened the mailbox and saw two letters addressed to me in green gel pen with a return address from Francis, I could scarcely contain my delight. I rushed into the house and ripped them open, pouring over her news of the recent happenings at school. I laughed, rolled my eyes, fought tears, and said, "Ha-ha, that doesn't surprise me," and "Gosh, I wish I had been there!"
     Everyday, throughout the morning and afternoon when I glance at the clock, I am mentally transported back to ESD. When I eat my breakfast in the morning, I think, "All of the students should have arrived by now, the flags have been raised, and everyone is in the chapel for songs and a Bible lesson." A little while later when I notice the time, I know they are in Betsy's classroom for Social Studies and math time. I finish my lunch break at 1 p.m. and I think, "Now Betsy's rounding up the kiddos from recess, where Mizael and Kevin were mostly likely playing on the tire-swing or practicing guitar with the girls, and they are all traipsing into the library for reading/study time." At 2:30 they are back in Betsy's classroom, homework has been handed out and they are discussing attitudes and the kindness portrayed throughout the day. And I know that at 3:30 everyone is grabbing their bags and are making their way home.

Gosh, I miss this classroom and tutoring English class so very much !

     Although this past week has been really rough for me; especially last Friday. All of the stress was really weighing on my mind and I was on the verge of panicking. Studying for the SAT exam, writing essays and filling out my college application; all in addition to my other required schoolwork and new classes, while still trying to readjust to being back in here in PA was beginning to become oppressive. "Lord, keep me on track and help me focus on the tasks ahead of me! Please help me to relax and clear my mind!" Now this short plea may seem to some like an oxymoron, but please understand that in order for me to focus on the things I had to do, I first had to clear my mind and just chillax.
      Being the wonderful God that He is, He answered my prayer within minutes when the sweet kids in Puerto Rico called me! My day instantly brightened when I spent most of my afternoon Skyping with them! I was able to completely forget my busy schedule/the papers I need to write--and just sign and joke with my dear friends. God is so good! They shared with me the recent happenings at ESD: telling me about the new student, describing how much fun they're having in guitar class, informing me of the fact that they're nearly done their spelling books in which practically everyone earned an A, discussing life in the dorms, laughing about their weekly adventures at church, etc. I laughed so hard at times I could scarcely breathe. At one point, the boys were across the room signing a song together while I was chatting with my "sisters." They later convinced the girls to join them and Mizael appointed me to sign the chorus of the song as they interpreted the rest. So there we sat, all signing along together. Even from my living room in PA, I can still join the kids in music/songs! How great is that? Oh, my heart was so happy! I felt for the near two hours, that I was really back in the school library chatting/signing face-to-face. Oh, Skype is my new best friend. Before they had to leave, we said, "Hasta luego," and promised to talk again this Friday....Believe me, I'm am ready to see them again!

It's Not Good-bye!

Late Friday night and early Saturday morning when I said farewell to the amazing students and staff who have blessed me beyond words; I reminded myself repeatedly that it was not "good-bye." Rather, "So-long, until I see you again!" (Hasta Luego!)
     Although it is difficult (sometimes much harder than others,) I am also reminding myself that returning to Pennsylvania just is another step in my journey. And while coming back only to finish High School is anything but inspirational, I must follow where the Lord leads...which for this season, He is calling me back here. And right now, I must finish my senior year before I can move on to college and pursue the other things He has for me. This is a necessary step; one I must take if I want to continue in His will. And while the transition is not always easy, I must remember to be grateful for the time God has given me in Puerto Rico with those I care deeply for--instead of being discouraged that I cannot stay longer.
     I know that I will return--But when, depends all on God's will. You had better believe that I am doing all I can to plan for my return!
 
I cried myself through the airport and decided to be prepared by stuffing extra napkins in my pocket for my return flight. Good thing I thought ahead.
     I greeted my family at BWI and chattered nearly non-stop on the two hour drive home--sharing stories about school and telling them how wonderful the students and staff are. Thankfully the waterworks subsided and I continued gabbing about the kids--Knowing that if I continued telling funny stories that caused me to laugh, it made it harder to cry.
     The "shock" of being in PA again, soon wore off. Thoughts of "God, what are you asking from me?" and "What can I possibly do here?" began assaulting my mind. I was for some reason under the impression that now that I was back in PA, I would be studying, studying, studying (which is more or less true.) I thought I would be working my butt off for the SAT exam, and would be so busy applying to colleges that I would have no time to chill with Deaf people or be able to do anything. I also felt in Puerto Rico, that I was actually doing something important--I felt useful, like I was doing something that mattered. Whereas here, I had the inclination that I would be working my tail off and apart from studying--I would be serving no purpose or doing any good. As you can imagine--that was very disheartening. The feeling of uselessness and boredom was driving me totally crazy.
     The next morning dawned bright and early--and very cold. Although it was seventy-five degrees, I was honestly freezing. I was accustomed to temperatures close to one hundred and ridiculous humidity, so while everyone else wore shorts and t-shirts, I snuggled into my hoodie. What can I say? So dragging my limp body out of my bed, I tried my best to mentally prepare for church; determined to hold myself together--even if it meant gritting my teeth or quietly excusing myself. I knew I'd be greeted by many people and I inwardly braced myself for the onslaught of questions I knew would be coming and hoped I would be in the right state of mind to give intelligent answers.
     "God, give me the strength to continue. Please show me that I'm still in the center of Your will...I need reassurance of this. Also, You know my thoughts and are aware of my growing feelings of uselessness. I feel completely inadequate and useless! Apart from my schoolwork, do I even have a purpose here? If there is anything I can do here in PA to serve You or if You actually have a purpose for me here at this time, please, please make it clear to me! I need to know and I need direction!" I cried out to God as I drove to church.
     Taking a deep breath, I followed my family through the doors. I no sooner stepped in when a lady saw me and called, "Rachel! Thank goodness you're here." I smiled and gave her a sideways glance. Noticing the look of desperation on her face, I suspected there might be more to her declaration than merely welcoming me back...so I waited. But I can assure you, I wasn't at all prepared for her response. "There is a Deaf guy here...and he needs an interpreter!"
     Huh-you hurt your what? I'm sure my jaw dropped as I stood there, stunned and speechless. I'm also sure at that instant, that she thought I was the deaf one.
     "No, seriously, there's a Deaf guy in the sanctuary! He is communicating by pen and paper."
     I dared a glance into the sanctuary and sure enough, I saw a middle-aged man sitting next to my aunt, writing furiously. Bingo. My pulse quickened and I was all but shaking. For real?! A Deaf guy at my church? For years I had searched and searched for Deaf people and have found a select few...but only after I've "sought them out" so to speak. But here a Deaf guy found me? This was almost too good to be true.
     All dreary thoughts instantly vanished and, unable to help myself, I strode confidently into the sanctuary and introduced myself. Little did I know, I was getting myself in...very deep! During our conversation he informed me that he drove almost an hour to our church because God told him that there was someone who really needed encouragement.
     "You!" He pointed a finger at me. "You're the person God sent me here to encourage. Remember, only God knows the future. But trust Him and He promises to work all things out for your good!"
     I blinked and felt myself rocking backwards. I grabbed the back of a chair to steady myself as the reality of what he had just said, hit me like a blow to the jaw. Okay, let me analyze: God had sent him here to encourage me? A Deaf man, who lived an hour away and had never been to my church, came just to tell me to trust that God held my entire future in His hands and that I could trust Him? I blinked back the tears I had been so careful to hide. Suddenly the realization hit me full force: God had just answered the prayer I had muttered on my way to church! He was confirming that I was in His will and He was showing me that I can be used while I'm here/He wants to use me in PA! Booyah!
     Encouraged beyond words, I jumped right in. So for the remaining four hours, I was the resident interpreter at Open Arms. I interpreted all of the songs and the entire sermon to the best of my ability. (It was rather awkward when the pastor equated pressing through difficult times in our walk with God, to a woman giving birth.) How on earth do I make that correlate in Sign with my limited technical vocabulary? Oh, where was Betsy when I needed her?! But I survived nonetheless and stayed around afterwards for all of the introductions and encouraging words. Interpreting for a dozen of people, Sign to voice and vice versa! Wow. That was incredible!
     And this Sunday he returned, so I once again interpreted the entire service as well as his conversations with others. I'm loving it! That reassured/proved to me that I am needed during my time here in PA and that I can use my gift of Sign, too. I can see that God is certainly preparing me for my destiny in working with the Deaf! The Lord is so good!

PR, Pasos, Pools, and Pizza!

I finally have a minute to sit down and take a breath! *deep sigh* As I mentioned earlier, Friday was amazing! (Let me preface it by first saying that, ever since I was eight years old and saw a Paso Fino Horse--I have dreamt of riding one. Although, in the States they are very rare so my chances immediately dwindled into single digits--but then I discovered that in Puerto Rico; Pasos are all they have! Booyah!) So to make a long story short, I asked Betsy if I could ride before I left Puerto Rico and after she agreed, we decided to bring the students along! How cool is that?! But there was a "slight" problem with that plan. You see, first of all, the people at the stables gave Betsy a hard time about renting horses and bringing a group. They wouldn't guarantee us horses and basically just wished us luck. How disheartening. So for the next week, we were trying not to get our hopes up. But on Thursday afternoon, Betsy gathered everyone in her classroom and assessed the situation. "Okay, I'm going to call the stables again--start praying!" She hung up her phone five minutes later, announcing that we would be going on Friday afternoon and that there would be a horse for everyone! God is so good and definitely answers prayers!
     I awoke early on Friday, beyond excited for our outing later that morning. I looked out the window to see black clouds swirling outside. Oh lovely. Rain; something we really didn't need. I rolled over and heard the pouring rain. "Okay God, we have finally gotten permission to ride. You've gotten us this far. Please hold off the rain until we return home from our ride. Please?"

Mizael on his little Paso Fino with his seatbelt! 

     After I was finished leading chapel and Carlos Motta had finished his Bible lesson, we all stepped outside into the bright, warm sunlight. The oppressive storm clouds had cleared off, leaving a bright blue sky in their wake. Yes! We all piled into a huge white van and half an hour later, we were all on our horses, trotting through the rainforest. Since I'm an experienced rider, I was given a stubborn chestnut gelding. Larimar, Kevin and I raced along the trail and Mizael followed on his little bay (he was adorable, bouncing along in his saddle with his little seatbelt,) careful to avoid Kevin's horse that had a terrible habit of side-kicking. I came to the conclusion that riding and neck-reining with one hand while Signing with the other, is something I feel I should become skilled at.
       Trotting along the riverbank, Kathryn rode alongside me, "You are looking very professional there, Rachel." She smiled as I neck-reined my horse back on the trail. "But with your hairnet, you look like a lunch-lady." I couldn't help but laugh. What a way to boost my self-confidence--She is such an encouragement. The rest of the ride was just wonderful and was even more exciting than I had anticipated! And the fact that the kids could accompany me, made it so special and memorable.

Our group plodding along towards the rainforest!

     hours later, we returned to the school and everyone crowded into the kitchen for lunch. I sat down at a table, tired and hot. I looked outside and noticed the dark clouds looming overhead. Soon the rain was pouring down. Wow--God is so good! Just as I had asked, He held the rain off until we returned from our horseback ride! So awesome! I sat with the kids and ate my lunch, relishing the feel of the fan overhead. It was one of the hottest days I could remember and my shirt was so sweaty, I could practically wring it out--no lie. What I wouldn't have given for a shower....But that dream was absolutely unrealistic; there was no way I could leave the kids to go get a shower. So as Betsy would say--Too bad, so sad. I ate my delicious plate of spaghetti and washed my dishes before taking the students outside for recess. Betsy met me, barefoot and dressed in her horsey clothes, at the office and motioned for me to follow her. "I'm about to do something stupid...." Not incredibly surprised by this announcement, I walked with her across the courtyard. She limped over to where Joella's little kiddy pool was and before I could stop her, she abruptly fell in; fully clothed. I stood watching and laughing as she splashed around and soaked her hair. "Bring me a kid!" She finally called to me, "I need help."
     I looked around and spotted Kevin standing outside a classroom. "Kevin!" Betsy and I screamed in unison. He spun around and his eyes went wide when he saw Betsy splashing in the kiddy pool; but nonetheless he walked towards us.
     "Kevin! Kevin!" Betsy shouted and Signed, "I wanna get out. I need help! Kevin, help me!"
     Thus, being the gentleman that he is, he grabbed her outstretched hand. "It's okay, Betsy, I'll help you! I've got you!" With Betsy's entire wellbeing depending completely on him, Kevin's sense of chivalry overcame him as he tried to pull her from the pool. Thus blinded by his own sense of goodwill, he missed the mischievous wink Betsy sent my way. "Watch your shoes," Betsy warned him. Completely baffled, he glanced down at his precious sneakers. Seizing the moment of distraction, Betsy grabbed his arm and jerked. Before I could warn him of her conniving, ulterior motives, Betsy pulled him right into the pool beside her with a huge splash! For what seemed like minutes, he just lay there, face-down in the water, unmoving.
     "Oh, Betsy! You've killed him." I ambled over to assess the situation and shrugged. "Oh well...."
     She rolled her eyes and began elbowing him, "Kevin, get up!" The twitch of his hand was his only response. Only after Betsy slipped off his shoes and tossed them in the yard, did he finally sit up and breathe. But by this time, a crowd had gathered around the pool. "Well, who's next?" Betsy waved them in, "C'mon people--don't just stand there--get in!" Her gaze rested on me. "C'mon, girlie!"
     I looked from the group of baffled students to where Betsy and Kevin sat drenched in the pool. Eh, what the heck. I kicked off my shoes and plunged into the water. Ah, how wonderful the water felt! Forget the shower--this was just as refreshing! Next, Mizael cannon-balled in with Juan and Larimar following. Bazooka, Betsy's Great Dane ran laps around us, barking as we all laughed and splashed each other while Kristian dragged over the hose and began spraying everyone in sight. Oh, that was so much fun! (And I was able to go upstairs to my room to change into dry clothes...a benefit of being "on staff," while everyone else sat in the sun to dry.)

Chilling with Kevin, Mizael and his mother at the movies! :) 

     Then, as a last hurrah before I flew back to PA, Kevin invited me to go see a movie with Larimar, Mizael and him. But I had to admit that as he was explaining the movie to me, I was rather skeptical. It appeared to be a decent movie with a good rating, but A Sea of Monsters was not exactly what I'd had in mind. But hey, you only live once, right? So I agreed to expand my horizons. (After getting everyone's permission of course,) we made our plans and Kevin's mom picked me up at the school before we met Larimar and Mizael's families in town. I must say; the movie by far exceeded my expectations and I was greatly amused. I mean honestly: Puerto Rico, Signing, popcorn, soda, a movie and some awesome friends--It doesn't get any better than that!
     After the movie was finished, I gave dear little Mizael a huge hug and promised to write to him. Oh, saying farewell is never easy! Then we walked down the street and bought a pizza, chilling and chatting. What fun! Then it was time to say adios to sweet Larimar. The raw reality that I would be leaving in mere hours was almost too much. I gritted my teeth against the flood of emotions that threatened to choke me. Betsy had forewarned me that if I cried, I couldn't come back. With my promise to be strong, forefront in my mind, I refused to give in. I held my "twin" tight, thanked her for an amazing four weeks, and promised to Skype her.
     Before I said/did anything dumb, I slowly followed Kevin to the car, feeling much like a lost puppy. Five good-byes down, one more to go. On the ride home, I was quiet and forced myself to act normal; trying my best to ignore my irksome emotions. We arrived at the school and I turned to say farewell to Kevin. I gave my bro a hug and thanked him for the encouragement he had been to me and for all the help he had given me during school. I scrambled out of the car and when the gate opened, I stepped onto campus with a parting wave. That was the last I will see of the students until we Skype and I return....But the Lord is with me and He is my strength! And it's not "good-bye"...it's "so-long, until we meet again!"